‘Shit my friend & I have said’ sentence starters 

promptplots:

• ❛ Adios, shitlords! ❜
  
• ❛ Kill my ass. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Just fucking throw it. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Oooh, that booty. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I thought you were gonna say heterosexual. ❜ 
  
• ❛ What the fuck kind of word is that? ❜ 
  
• ❛ Bring your bed downstairs. ❜ 
  
• ❛ You don’t control me. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Who do I have to show my boobs to to get this? ❜ 
  
• ❛ Don’t show your boobs to anyone. ❜ 
  
• ❛ They were gonna burn them alive! What the fuck? ❜ 
  
• ❛ A lot of shady ass shit is going on. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Are you trying to do the Kylie Jenner lip challenge? ❜ 
  
• ❛ It’s gonna be your fault and I’m gonna have to kill you. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Bitch, there’s no fucking government. Shut the fuck up. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Get your own damn soda, bitch. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I fucking hate kids. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Did a cat just die or did you just yawn? ❜ 
  
• ❛ I’m gonna give her eternal life. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I feel concerned for that guy in the water. He might just end up drowning. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Just because two girls are banging doesn’t mean it’s good porn. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I have to put pants on, god damn it. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I just want her to fuck me up. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Is my dead husband’s wedding ring worth nothing to you people? ❜ 
  
• ❛ This is probably cubic zirconia. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I knew that pussy was too good. ❜ 
  
• ❛ There is no god. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Kick your computer in the dick. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Nipple tattoos. New fad. ❜ 
  
• ❛ What’s in my boobs? ❜ 
  
• ❛ Too many sexuals. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I don’t keep track of my pizza consumption. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I swear to god, I roll my eyes every 15 seconds. Soon they’re just going to roll right out of my fucking head and into the abyss. ❜ 
  
• ❛ If everyone in this show wasn’t so hot I wouldn’t be watching it. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I believe in your daddy kink. ❜ 
  
• ❛ I lost my period! ❜ 
  
• ❛ My poor spine. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Shit shit shit! I forgot the walnuts! ❜ 
  
• ❛ I can’t let any of these squids in! ❜ 
  
• ❛ Go pet that dog. Follow your dreams. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Holy balls, Batman. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Pizza made me have a religious experience. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Sleep has failed me. I feel so betrayed. ❜ 
  
• ❛ Oh, sure. Just come in my house and eat all of my pizza. ❜ 
  
• ❛ You look like a bumblebee with red lipstick. ❜ 
  
• ❛ These are some crunchy ass pretzels. ❜ 
  
• ❛ French hookers. Gotta love ‘em. ❜
  
• ❛ I’ve found your weak point! ❜